Useful Facts


 

I have been amazed recently as I stop to contemplate just how much I have learned in the last few years! I thought that I was a pretty well educated person, but I find that I was not at all.  So, just so that you can feel educated also, I will share a smidgen of useful information with you. I want you to also feel well adjusted and happy in your expanded knowledge.

  1. The best way to get people to come see you is to lay on the floor and let your infant pull your hair into interesting, yet unusual configurations. (NOBODY calls ahead to tell you they are coming, they just start talking to you on their way up the stairs…no matter if they live next door, or clear on the other side of the country.)
  2. The second best way to attract visitors is to run out of water on a hot day, get all sweaty and sticky cleaning up the house, and then let your children eat frozen juice, which they will then smear all over your face, hands and clothing. This one works every time!
  3. The best way to get geckos out of the house is to just forget it…the geckos are not going to get out of your house! You might as well name them and treat them like family.
  4. Adding fresh chili peppers to your bucket of oats will drive the bugs crazy, but they won’t get out of the bucket since the sides are too slippery. But, at least the bugs in your oatmeal will be running in circles looking desperate, and you can spot them more easily that way.
  5. The fastest way to wake up both girls from their naps is to sit down and either look busy, or comfortable.
  6. The most reliable indication for rain is if you ask your boys to carry water up from the creek. They will fill all the buckets, and be exhausted and dead tired from their repeated trips up and down the mountain in the searing heat. Then it will rain, and all the water will run on the ground since your buckets are already full.
  7. Not all bugs are created equal. Bugs of any size, that go “crunch” when you bite into them, should be discarded. Small insignificant bugs should be eaten without comment…you never know when there will be a veteran missionary around who will get jealous if you make too big of a deal about them. (I never hope to attain “native” status where you just eat all bugs of every description without any hesitation or objection)
  8. Banana juice stains clothing, and nothing seems to get rid of it. So, if you would love to have brown spots on your clothes, just try trimming a banana tree.
  9. Jack fruit is terribly sticky, but if you put oil on your lips and hands, the sticky goes away. Don’t ask me why…
  10. Clothing can mold, even when you are wearing it.
  11. According to Thai text books, insisting on good quality products is “American culture”.  Most Asians don’t expect to get good quality things when they go shopping.
  12. You can cook using dirty creek water, as long as you boil it long enough.
  13. It is possible to take a complete bath using two dippers of water.
  14. May is fly month in Thailand…they are everywhere, especially in the kitchen. (Flies crunch when you bite them, so they are in the discard category)
  15. About the time things start to go well, it will be time for a visa run, and then things will fall apart while you are gone, and by the time you get it all straightened out again, it will be time for another visa run!

As you can see, this is just a drop in the bucket of all the interesting facts there are to learn. The life of a missionary is very educational and NEVER boring.